knock on wood...

I've never once broken a bone.

Not ever.

Everyone in my family has broken something: my mom's broken her foot, arm, and toes; my dad, multiple bones; my brother, his nose; my sister, her arm and her toe (that was my fault...left my big size 12 shoes out in the hallway and she tripped over them).

Ask anyone, and I am the biggest klutz in the world. I trip over everything and anything. Hell, I've even tripped down STAIRS and came out unscathed.

I think I'm pretty strange. But I've never broken a bone.

Knock on wood...

something ridiculous.

I thought this was a joke when I clicked on this news story. But no, this is actually serious....


HOUSTON (Aug. 10) -- A married man is suing 1-800-Flowers for $1 million for revealing that he was cheating on his wife.

Leroy Greer said in a lawsuit filed this week in a federal court in Texas that he bought flowers for his girlfriend through 1-800-Flowers. He asked to keep his purchase private.

Greer said he was referred to the company's privacy policy, which states that customers can ask 1-800-Flowers not to share personal information with "third parties."

But, the lawsuit says, 1-800-Flowers sent a thank-you note to his house and his wife saw it. When she called the company, 1-800-Flowers faxed her a copy of the receipt from Greer's secret purchase.

The receipt revealed that Greer had sent another woman a dozen long-stemmed red roses, along with a note that read, "Just wanted to say that I love you and you mean the world to me!" according to court documents. The couple was already going through what Greer's attorney described as an amicable divorce.

After learning of the affair, Greer's wife asked for a $300,000 divorce settlement in addition to child support, said Kennitra Foote, Greer's attorney.

"That thank-you note is going to cost him money," Foote said.

Greer is asking for $1 million for breach of contract and deceptive trade practices. "This is not a moral issue," Foote said. "The issue is, is 1-800-Flowers in the business of causing divorce or are they in the business of sending flowers and sticking to their privacy policy?"

A 1-800-Flowers spokesman said the company does not comment on pending litigation. In a statement, spokesman Steven Jarmon said, "We take all matters relating to our customers seriously; however, we are not responsible for an individual's personal conduct."

Copyright 2007 ABCNEWS.com

A ridiculous lawsuit, okay? The divorce is not final yet, so don't cheat on your wife. You are responsible for yourself, so if you got caught it's on you, bud. It's on you. So pony up the money and (hopefully) learn from your mistakes.

wikipedia...apparently you can find anything on here.

I did a little experiment. Just to see.

I thought of some words, the first words that popped into my head, and typed them into wikipedia's search engine. Every single stinking word I thought of had an entry:

1. Orgasm
2. Wine cooler
3. jabberwocky
4. underwear [even talks about the freakin' history of underwear]
5. Facebook
6. itch

wow. amazing! ha ha ha.

a baby with 25 middle names.

Now this is weird.

I found a news story on Yahoo! about a baby girl with 25 middle names.

*****

LONDON (AFP) - Baby Autumn Brown has a name to live up - in fact she has over 25 of them.

The little girl's mother Maria, in keeping with her boxing-mad family's bizarre tradition, decided to give her 25 middle names - all culled from the greatest exponents inside the ring.

Her full name, which left register office staff in Perton, Wolverhampton reeling is: Autumn Sullivan Corbett Fitzsimmons Jeffries Hart Burns Johnson Willard Dempsey Tunney Schmeling Sharkey Carnera Baer Braddock Louis Charles Walcott Marciano Patterson Johansson Liston Clay Frazier Foreman Brown.

Maria told the city's Express and Star: "The whole thing came about because both my mum and dad are obsessed with boxing and have a bit of a daft sense of humour.

"When I was young I couldn't ever remember my name. It took me to the age of 10 to memorise it all."

The 33-year-old mother added: "I'm hoping Autumn has a good sense of humour with her name. It's never done me any harm though."

*****

25 middle names is a little weird, weird sense of humor or not. It also reminds me of a show I saw on VH1 about celebrities and what they named their babies. Puma and Rain Beau came up and those aren't bad...and then there was Pilot Inspecktor and Audio Science.

Poor kids.